Ticker
  • Avanti Bello (3-1) proves best to win his second straight Tiznow Stakes.Posted 6 hours ago
  • Girvin (8-1) upsets the Grade 2 Risen Star Stakes.Posted 1 day ago
  • Unified (2-1) makes a winning return in the Grade 3 Gulfstream Park Sprint.Posted 1 day ago
  • Enterprising (3-1) runs down Oscar Nominated in the Grade 3 Fair Grounds Handicap.Posted 1 day ago
  • Morticia (2-1) game all the way in the Melody of Colors.Posted 1 day ago
  • Farrell (7-2) pulls away to win the Grade 2 Rachel Alexandra.Posted 1 day ago
  • Yorkiepoo Princess (9-5) races through fog to win the Busher Stakes.Posted 1 day ago
  • Honorable Duty (5-1) holds on to take the Grade 3 Mineshaft Handicap.Posted 1 day ago
  • Believe in Bertie (3-5) sets new course record in Daisy Devine.Posted 1 day ago
  • Hogy (5-2) earns his 16th career victory in the Colonel Power.Posted 1 day ago

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
Read More

 

comments powered by Disqus

Related Pages

Related Stories

Top Stories