Ticker
  • Collected (3-5) wins the Precisionist by a pole.Posted 2 days ago
  • Irap (5-2) edges Girvin by a nose in the $500,000 Ohio Derby.Posted 2 days ago
  • Battle of Midway (1-9) cruises in a 4-horse field in the Affirmed.Posted 2 days ago
  • Highland Reel wins another big one, this time in the Prince of Wales's at Royal Ascot.Posted 5 days ago
  • Highland Reel (2-1) powers to victory in the Prince of Wales's Stakes (G1) at Royal AscotPosted 5 days ago
  • Lady Aurelia (2-1) easily wins at Royal Ascot again in the King's Stand (G1).Posted 7 days ago
  • Timeline (1-10) cruises in Monmouth's Pegasus Stakes to remain perfect..Posted 8 days ago
  • Sweeping Paddy (7-2) pounces and scores in the Regret Stakes.Posted 9 days ago
  • Gun Runner (1-2) romps home much the best in the Grade 1 Stephen Foster.Posted 9 days ago
  • Forever Unbridled (1-1) way too much for her Fleur de Lis foes.Posted 9 days ago
Breeders Cup 2015
2017 Queen's Plate

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
Read More

 

comments powered by Disqus

Related Pages

Related Stories

Top Stories