Ticker
  • Diversify (1-2) rolls home a big winner in the Evan Shipman.Posted 2 hours ago
  • Blackjackcat (8-1) holds off Vyjack to win the Del Mar Mile.Posted 22 hours ago
  • Dak Attack (2-1) is an impressive winner of the Ellis Park Juvenile.Posted 1 day ago
  • Channel Maker (8-5) wins the photo and survives multiple objections to win the Breeders' Stakes.Posted 1 day ago
  • Kelly's Humor (11-1) rolls late to win Ellis Park Debutante.Posted 1 day ago
  • Dream Dancing (6-1) nips Beau Recall in the Del Mar Oaks.Posted 1 day ago
  • Collected (3-1) holds off Arrogate in the TVG Pacific Classic.Posted 1 day ago
  • Hunt (3-1) scores his second graded stakes win of the meet, this time in the Del Mar Handicap.Posted 1 day ago
  • Elate (4-1) rolls home a big winner in the Alabama.Posted 2 days ago
  • Money'soncharlotte (5-2) holds off Martini Glass in the Lady Jacqueline.Posted 2 days ago

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
Read More

 

comments powered by Disqus

Related Pages

Related Stories

Top Stories