Ticker
  • In his first start since the Remsen, Gift Box rolls over a strong allowance field at Belmont.Posted 1 hour ago
  • Nyquist has spiked a fever, delaying his trip to Belmont, via DRF's Dave Grening.Posted 3 days ago
  • Second Summer holds off Hard Aces to win the Grade 2 Californian.Posted 3 days ago
  • Exaggerator turns the tables and is victorious in the Preakness (G1).Posted 5 days ago
  • Takeover Target flies home late to win from last in the Grade 2 Dixie.Posted 5 days ago
  • American Freedom fights back for Sir Barton victory.Posted 5 days ago
  • Mizz Money holds on to take the Gallorette (G3) by a nose.Posted 5 days ago
  • Justin Squared was too fast to catch in the Chick Lang.Posted 5 days ago
  • Lady Shipman does not disappoint with a victory in The Very One.Posted 5 days ago
  • Marengo Road gets ahead to take the James W. Murphy.Posted 5 days ago

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
Read More

 

comments powered by Disqus

Related Pages

Related Stories

Top Stories