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  • California Chrome edges Dortmund in a San Diego Handicap showdown.Posted 14 hours ago
  • Mokat (7-1) turns the San Clemente into a one-filly show.Posted 15 hours ago
  • Dacita just gets up in the Grade 1 Diana in a four-horse photo.Posted 17 hours ago
  • Front Pocket Money grinds to victory in the Grade 3 Jersey Shore.Posted 18 hours ago
  • Hit It Once More romps home a big winner of the New York Derby.Posted 19 hours ago
  • Bitumen (4-5) powers home to win the Grade 3 Sanford at Saratoga.Posted 21 hours ago
  • Secretariat winner Highland Reel goes all the way in the Group 1 King George.Posted 1 day ago
  • Heavily favored Enola Gray makes short work of her competition in the Fleet Treat.Posted 1 day ago
  • Ancient Secret takes the Lake George (G2).Posted 1 day ago
  • Sweet Loretta the strong winner of the Schuylerville (G3).Posted 1 day ago

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
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