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  • Gimme Da Lute just holds off Prospect Park in the Los Alamitos Derby.Posted 19 hours ago
  • Private Zone dominates the Belmont Sprint from start to finish.Posted 21 hours ago
  • Lady Eli magnificent in Belmont Oaks victory.Posted 22 hours ago
  • Force The Pass wins the $1.25 Belmont Derby in a laugher.Posted 23 hours ago
  • Speighster remains perfect with an impressive Dwyer win.Posted 1 day ago
  • Irish Jasper rolls from last to first in the Victory Ride.Posted 1 day ago
  • Magic Mark upsets the Bertrando Stakes at 11-1 to kickoff the Los Alamitos meet.Posted 2 days ago
  • Salutos Amigos dominant in Monmouth Park's Mr. Prospector.Posted 6 days ago
  • Crucero upsets the San Juan Capistrano at odds of 23-1.Posted 6 days ago
  • La Verdad skips through the Belmont slop to a victory in the Dancin Renee.Posted 7 days ago

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
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