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  • Quiet Business (16-1) powers home to win the Bewitch at Keeneland.Posted 15 hours ago
  • Celtic Chaos (7-1) gets up on the wire to win the Affirmed Success.Posted 16 hours ago
  • Girvin, the Kentucky Derby points leader, has a quarter crack, via Byron King.Posted 1 day ago
  • Party Boat (7-2) takes the Memories of Silver on the Aqueduct turf.Posted 5 days ago
  • Dolphus (6-5), Rachel Alexandra's half-brother, wins AQU allowance; Shagaf lastPosted 5 days ago
  • Multiplier (4-1) kicks it in late to get past Hedge Fund in the Illinois Derby.Posted 6 days ago
  • Collected (3-5) rolls home much the best in the Californian.Posted 6 days ago
  • Imperative (5-1) surges past Matt King Coal for his second win in the Charles Town Classic.Posted 6 days ago
  • Itsinthepost (5-2) proves best in Keeneland's Elkhorn.Posted 6 days ago
  • Inordinate (5-2) surges to victory in the San Juan Capistrano.Posted 6 days ago
Breeders Cup 2015
Kentucky Derby 2017

Called Western Union. No Answer.

I think it's a shame that you can't send a telegram anymore. This is starting out sounding like a piece that Andy Rooney might do, and if he has and I've accidentally stolen something, Miss Kratchnutt, tell the CBS lawyers to take a number.

If nothing else, Western Union, the last American company that was in the telegram business, gave certain wiseacres a chance to be funny. And where else did we get a chance to end every sentence with the word stop? When Alexander Woollcott wrote for The New Yorker, he did a long piece on Cary Grant. There was everything in there but Grant's BVD size, and his age. So the editor, Harold Ross, sent Woollcott a telegram. It read:

HOW OLD CARY GRANT? STOP

Woollcott telegrammed back:

OLD CARY GRANT FINE; HOW YOU? STOP...
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