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Racing Dictionary 101: What's in a word?

Philadelphia
Photo: visitphilly.com

 

In case you are new to horse racing, there is a lot you can learn by going over my glossary of terms. Who knows, it may come in handy at the betting window.

 

A: Allowance Race-It’s what happens the day my wife gives me my allowance check.

 

B: Blinkers on-Is a term that best describes driving with my father as a young boy.

 

C: Chute-This is one of my favorite expressions and I usually say it after losing another bet.

 

D: Distaff-Spoken by Moses, “Distaff is for my water tricks and dat-staff will turn into any snake you want.”

 

E: Exotic Wager- This happens when you party naked.

 

F: Filly-City in Pennsylvania. No one should ever eat a Filly cheese steak-just sayin.

 

G: Gelding-The worst day possible.

 

H: Handicap-Often describes the shape that I’m in and not my golf game.

 

I: In the Money- Guess what? I’m not.

 

J: Jockey Club- The stinkers banned me when I grew over 5’9”. And I had to give back those little knickers they wear.

 

K: Key Lime Pie-No horse terms begin with K, so I thought I would include my favorite dessert.

 

L: Lame-Most of the jokes in this week’s column.

 

M: Morning Line-A list of odds on whether I’m calling in sick to work or not.

 

N: Nose-Winning by the…

 

O: Off Track Betting-the smokiest place on Earth.

 

P: Past Performances-Complaints from an ex-wife.

 

Q: Quinella-Scotch and Soda

 

R: Rail-The foot of a bar.

 

S: Show bet- The best bet for a dime collector.

 

T: Trifecta-The Holy Trinity. WIN/PLACE/SHOW

 

U: Untried-(Used in a sentence) ‘For some reason the head cheese is untried.’

 

V:  Valet- The hardest working man in the jockey’s room.

 

W: Weight In and Weight Out-It’s the same no matter what I do at the gym.

 

X: X-Factor-The reasoning behind your bet on a 50-1 shot.

 

Y: Yearling-Too young to know any better.

 

Z: Zebra-The next big thing in horse racing.

 

See ya next week, sport fans, for the Breeders' Cup!

  

 

What the Nation is saying about Racing Dictionary 101: What's in a word?...

Yea, I think I use Chute a lot, too, Johnnie! Usually because I messed up the way I bet.
Love the Moses line, and I can't tell you how many times I've seen a filly called a philly.

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Meet Johnnie Carrier

 

With 10 years of writing a humor column for his home town paper under his belt, Johnnie Carrier has decided to try something different. He is a graduate of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey’s Clown College Class of 1977 and traveled the West with Circus Vargas in 1979.

 In the 80’s, Carrier lived in New York City and Boston, but he settled down however in the smallest city in Massachusetts late in the decade and married Dawn Luskin in ’88. David was born in 1991 and has been blessed with his father’s sense of humor, but luckily his mother’s good looks.

 Racing has been more than a casual interest having lived so close to Saratoga. He started going to the track at a very young age with his parents and has tried to instill that passion into his son by taking him at the same age. In 2003, Carrier started to write as a freelance writer with the North Adams Transcript and can be followed there at the paper’s website.